When relationships offer a sense of security, individuals are better able to reach out, provide support to others and deal with conflict and stress. These relationships tend to be happier, more stable and more satisfying.
Falling in love, getting to know a romantic partner, maintaining a couple's relationship, raising a family and caring for a partner in older age-all these stages of couple and family life involves a range of emotions.
Emotions can be reactions to internal stimuli such as thoughts or memories of events that occur in our environment. Emotions are not the same thing as moods. A mood is a state of mind that predisposes us to react certain way. A mood is an emotional state that may last anywhere from a few minutes to several weeks, e.g a depressed mood creates a bias in favour of responding negatively.
Emotional Focussed Therapy (EFT) is an attachment science-based approach. It was formulated in the 1980s by Sue Johnson & Leslie Greenberg.
EFT integrates a focus on individual emotional experience and how this impacts interactions between partners. EFT helps partners tune into their important feelings and needs. They then put those feelings and needs across to their partner in ways that invite positive responses.
The website, www.iceeft.com explains that EFT is based on the principle that our emotions are central to our experiences and relationships.
Kallos-Lily and Fitzgerald (2015) suggest emotional security between you and your partner needs to be developed consciously. It is not automatically assured, nor does it happen by chance. If you turn to your partner in times of need, seeking comfort, support and care and find him/her/them unavailable and not responsive, it is not surprising you feel lonely, hurt or angry. When momentary doubts are repeatedly ignored, dismissed or otherwise not tended to, they can expand and eventually evolve into deeper fears and insecurities.
Kallos-Lilly V and Fitzgerald J (2015) An Emotional Focused Workbook for Couples, The Two Of Us. Routledge. London.