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Surviving the Seven Year Itch: How Couples Counselling Can Help

Posted By  
11:07 AM

The cliché-sounding "seven-year itch" has enough truth to it to be recognized in romantic culture. Basically, the term refers to the time period in a marriage or long-term relationship when passion and sexual interest begins to level off. Couples often become complacent in their relationship and are more likely to not see eye-to-eye on various issue. Many marriages go through this stage and not all of them come out unscathed.


However the odds are high for the parents of new babies to become two ships in the night, there is help available. Couples counseling can not only help in navigating this phase of your relationship, but strengthen it overall.


By looking at The Seven Year Itch one will be left with a assumption that the "itch" usually happens at the seven year mark. However, there is no science that can truly determine the reason for the "itch". The seven year mark is a time rather than a set in stone time. The seven years is used symbolically showing that the first part of the marriage or long term relationship is said to be over with. In other words, the honeymoon stage is said to have been over with because of the two people in the relationship have now found about each other's lives and have settled down. " They are back where they started: restless, guilt-ridden and nose to nose with temptation."(duckling1974) This shows that it is not that love is not fulfilled, it's just neither or both of the love birds are ready to move on just yet. It is said that financial troubles surface, stress, and arguing start to emerge in the relationship.


Couples counselling plays a crucial role in dealing with this chase. A therapist can play the part of a helping friend, enabling both partners to communicate better, repair the fire that was once felt for each other, resolve present conflicts and set definitive goals for the future, all while instilling a sense of common comprehension in both partners.


Effective Communication:

 Communication is key in any relationship. Counseling sets the stage for couples to develop better communication skills, to be able to effectively express their needs, concerns, and feelings.

Therapists can help light the spark in unhappy relationships.



Help Resolve Ongoing Conflicts:

A counselor can help you and your partner identify and understand sources of long-standing conflict and develop new ways of dealing with them. Attitudes towards money, parenting methods or even a long-standing misunderstanding may be causing a great deal of unspoken tension. Bring up anything that might be a recurring issue for either of you, no matter how small it might seem.




Set Future Goals:

Counselling can help couples set goals for the future by working together to create a new vision and make sure couples are on the same track of the chosen path.


Develop Mutual Understanding:

One of the primary reasons why couples choose to go through counselling is so they can truly understand each other’s perspective. It’s important that couples understand and appreciate why one another have different ideals in the relationship. Counseling helps give that neutral ground to be able to understand better.


Most couples who go through the ‘seven year itch’ and get couples therapy are glad they got it. Their therapist has been able to help them gain insights into their relationship, develop a greater appreciation for the journey they’ve had together over the years, and revive the love and adoration that brought them together.


Self-help On Top of Professional Guidance: While professional guidance is essential, couples can also help themselves by engaging in self-help activities outside of their counselling sessions. This might be as simple as taking time out for regular date nights, to overhauling more profound sections of your life, such as your career or where you live.



 The seven-year itch is not the death-knell of relationships. It’s a phase that, managed with care, can make you a stronger team. Couples counselling is very helpful during this time, providing pragmatic advice and guidance about how to weather the itch and emerge on the other side with the marriage better than ever. Seeking help is the first step towards weathering this storm. It’s a true sign of your strength and willingness to work for the future of your marriage and your children.